Keep Calm and Give Up Control

A Perfectionist

A person who wants everything to be perfect and demands the highest standards possible:

She’s such a perfectionist that she notices even the tiniest mistakes.

(Definition of perfectionist from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press)

That’s me.

Does it sound like you?

If so, then you’ll probably face similar dilemmas as I do in many situations.

One is giving up control.

Having spent the last few weeks, months and perhaps even years planning your wedding then it can be very hard to give up having control over those plans for fear your day won’t be a success.

Even on the morning of your wedding day you probably want to be in control.

But rather than let that overwhelm you, if you just relax and enjoy the moment then I guarantee your day will be everything you dreamt it would be.

If you worry about every single little detail, then how can you be ‘in the moment.’

I hear from so many brides that the reason they love their wedding film so much is because the day flashes by so quickly that they forget many of the details, people they spoke to, the unexpected moments and the emotion of the whole day.

When I made this trailer for Marilou and Andy, who were married at The Priory Cottages in Wetherby in May, the story was about how Marilou and Andy had ‘waited’ for each other.

But when I shared this film I received a surprising amount of comments from people about how calm their morning had appeared to be in the film.

And it was. But it got me thinking.

Marilou was supported by all her wonderful friends,

Serena Rawlings from the venue was taking care of all things ‘weddingy’ and her bridesmaids made sure everything around Marilou was taken care of.

And so all the bride had to do was simply relax and enjoy her morning.

There were a few moments when things didn’t run to plan … the dress wasn’t sitting right and then there was, what’s now referred to as ‘shoegate’

But part of my role at every wedding is not only to film what happens but be there for the couple in any way they need me.

So I put my camera down and helped deal with both these issues, to make sure that Marilou didn’t get in a flap.


“On our wedding day Emma melted into the background and we hardly noticed she was there. 

I had a dress and shoe emergency about an hour before the ceremony and she dealt with both whilst calming me down – getting down on her knees at one point to fix my shoe strap! 

What other wedding videographer would do that?”

In essence I was helping Marilou feel as happy as she could and ultimately bring out this best in her for her film.

Another of my brides, also a very successful woman, was very hands on with her wedding plans and the day itself.

Just a few days before the wedding, Sophie was stitching her handmade Orders of Service while on shift as an anaesthetist … another example of a busy woman with details on her mind.

But when I arrived the day before the wedding to film them setting up the marquee Sophie had delegated …

Yes I still found her on her knees writing the Table Plan out, but all around her friends and family were setting the tables, hammering in sign posts and putting up bunting.


Thank you for coming down the day before the wedding to film us and even help us set up, 

It really added to our story.”

And on the day of the wedding, her bridesmaids sat making their floral head pieces while Sophie applied her own make-up…

On this morning, as with nearly all weddings, there was a moment when all was not well.

Sophie was not pleased with her hair.  Bridesmaids flocked around her to see if they could offer assistance.  Their platitudes making things worse.

I could see the tension start to simmer so I took them all aside and assigned one friend to come and help me deal with the situation.

Within a matter of moments the problem had dissipated and Sophie was once again focussed on being the woman of the moment and enjoying her day.


But what’s the worst that can happen?  Perhaps this …

My point is, you can never control the whole of your day so you might as well give up control and embrace the day as it unfolds.

YOU determine the success of YOUR day.

So trust me when I say I can help you do that as your wedding videographer and so much more.

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